21 December 2009

The Three Most Overated Singers in Pop History

Frank Sinatra

"Rock 'n' Roll smells phony and false. It is sung, played and written for the most part by cretinous goons and by means of its almost imbecilic reiteration and sly, lewd, in plain fact dirty lyrics, it manages to be the martial music of every sideburned delinquent on the face of the earth."

"I rued the day the Beatles were unfortunately born into this world. They are, in my mind, responsible for most of the degeneration that has happened, not only musically, but in the sense of youth orientation politically, too. They are the people who first made it publicly acceptable to spit in the eye of authority."

Somehow people born after the death of Buddy Holly seem to forget these once famous comments by Sinatra. People have also conveniently forgotten how Sinatra bullied his record company into not signing Rock groups in the early 60s. But anyone studying why Rock almost died in the early 60s should give a good long look at ole Blue Eyes...And as for his music? What music? He didn't even write the songs, he simply sang them (including Beatles songs, despite all his unkind words about them) in a voice that was basically the sonic equivalent to mothballs on cardboard. Honestly, this guy is one of the most overrated hacks ever to fondle a mic stand...
Elvis Presley

Don't believe the hype, Elvis sucked too. If he would have looked like Elvis Costello instead of Elvis Presley, he'd still be alive today, living in a trailer and driving truck loads of beans up Highway 24 three times a week...

Johnny Rotten, on Elvis' death: "Fuckin' good riddance to bad rubbish. I don't give a fucking shit, and nobody does, either. It's just fun to fake sympathy, that's all they're doing."

Bing Crosby, on Elvis' death:"He never contributed a damn thing to much."

Michael Jackson

This one is obvious. First of all, I don't like watching men dance. Never have, and I doubt if I ever will. Secondly his music has no authenticity because he has no authenticity. He's a phony, a fake and a fraud. Third, I admit he's got a couple tunes that are catchy. But so did Tony Orlando and Dawn and you dont see them living with monkeys and pixies and shit, do you? And last of all, no one in the history of mankind--not even Jesus--deserves as much fame and money as this freak has. There is no doubt in my mind that the world would be a better place if Mark David Chapman would have put a bullet in MJ's head instead of John Lennon's
But maybe Mike Diamond of the Beastie Boys said it best: "I gotta say this - if I ever see Michael Jackson, I'm gonna light his Jeri curls on fire. I'm gonna sneak up on him with a can of lighter fluid and go to work. I think if they had a 3-D movie in DisneyWorld of AdRock punching Michael Jackson's face, they'd get a good draw. What would I do if I met him? I'd unplug his oxygen tent, rip off his surgical mask and spit in his face."

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